It has been an incredibly crazy, stressful, tearful and good two weeks. Last Tuesday Matthew started his post high school. He is participating in the hybrid school schedule along with all the other Davis County School district students/teachers. That means he only attends twice a week. His first day he kept requesting a nice breakfast like the other siblings had the previous week for their first day of school so we obliged. He wanted the same overnight crock pot breakfast casserole. He was up bright and early since he had piano lessons that morning as well. He was ready with all his supplies when the bus came at 7:30 am. First day of school for '14th grade' here we come!!
Speaking of Matthew...he has been preparing to move out into a group home. This is a decision Aaron and I have struggled making in the past 6 months. It was a really HARD decision, but we both felt it would be best for our family and for Matthew to make this move. He has always had the best behavior outside the home, but I strongly feel that it was because home was his ’safe space’. Being outside the home was very stressful for him, but he could keep himself together. However, when he got home is when he would release all the stress from the day in the form of extreme tantrums and meltdowns because home was where he felt safe enough to do this. I am glad we were his safe place, but it was starting to take a toll. Our home was becoming a war zone and has been for about the last 5 years. Aaron and I took the brunt of it, but he had started lashing out at his siblings--ugh! Don’t get me wrong he was great a lot of the time, but when those meltdowns would occur it was definitely not pretty. I am glad his behavior was awesome outside the home for everyone that worked with him, but it was really straining us at home. We had tried working with a few different behaviorists to see if we could do something about the behavior at home, but nothing worked. We also tried medication, but that didn’t help either. He NEVER did do anything like this to anyone outside our home so we thought it might be a stage and we could just ride it out. However, it was not getting better and we were worried it would damage any good relationships with his siblings in the future. Besides all his peers were moving on with their lives--moving out, going to college, going on missions, etc. so this would be a normal step for Matthew. He could work on becoming more independent and learning life skills. We looked into the option and with the help of a care coordinator we felt like this would be a great option. We also discussed this with his psychiatrist who has been seeing him since he has been 3 years old. She agreed this would be a good decision for all of us. She did tell us about her brother, too. She said her parents moved her brother to a group home and it really helped everyone’s relationships. The parents no longer were the disciplinarians which greatly improved their relationship with their son. They could just pick her brother up and enjoy the time they had together and then drop him off and it was really good for their entire family. That helped us feel better about making this decision. After getting guardianship taken care of and Social Security Income set up for him, we started looking at different group homes. We wanted him to stay in Davis County so he could finish his time at Vista and we also wanted him close by so we could still see him and be involved in his life. We found a great fit. After multiple meetings between us and his care/support team, we got stuff set up. He would be in a group home with two other housemates. He would have his own room, but share a bathroom with one other housemate. There would be 24 hour supervision from the trained group home staff. There is also a very involved home manager that loves to help these special needs kids learn independent living skills as well as having different fun activities at the home--a badmitton set up in the backyard, porch swing, close to a park, etc. There is also a nurse that comes in and oversees the medications as well. Seeing all these opportunities made us feel better about making this tough decision. A week before Matthew was to move in we met with the house manager so he could meet Matthew and talk to us to get to know him better. We did get to check out Matthew’s new room and to make him feel more at home the house manager picked up a camp chair just for Matthew to use. It was really nice! Here’s Matthew in his new room with his fancy new camp chair:
To be honest we both have really struggled with this decision. Between feelings of guilt, sadness at a child leaving the nest, and feelings of hope for Matthew learning new skills, new opportunities, etc., I have been super weepy. I have been his advocate from birth and have looked out for his best interests his whole life and to turn that responsibility over to someone else it has been really hard. I didn’t know if anyone would take that responsibility as seriously and Aaron and me. Anyway, it would be a leap of faith for all of us which was hard. Whenever anyone would ask about the move I would get verklempt and had a hard time talking about it.
Anyway, moving day was last Wednesday. Good thing we have a hybrid school schedule. That meant Josh and Daniel would be home to help us move Matthew into his new house.
The week before I had started gathering, ordering items, and packing his things up. We got him set up with a new mattress, bed frame, mattress cover, sheets, pictures, digital piano and bench, dresser, nightstand, desk, chair, three days worth of groceries, etc. It took us two truck loads to get everything moved. I still had to go back a 3rd time because I had forgotten to bring a few important items like pants that had been left at our house in the dryer--DOH!!
We got his room all set up. He was nervous, but had met one of his housemates who was really nice. He will still stay in our ward. We will pick him up every Sunday to spend the day with us and go to church as well as holidays, too. We will take him to and from piano Tuesday mornings as well so we will be seeing him quite a bit still. Here is his new all put-together room:
His shredder and shop vac are in his closet. Having his shredder and vacuum was a need not a want according to Matthew--haha!
We will always love him, but will miss having him at home.
His house manager and the staff have been really good about sending us pictures about their different activities. Matthew also has a cell phone and has called me every day which has been nice. I like to hear that he is doing okay. I donated an Instant Pot to the cause since Matthew loves Instant Pot Macaroni and Cheese. He also loves spaghetti and meatballs. The next day after we moved him in I needed to drive him to school and pick him up since they weren’t able to change the bus schedule for a few days. It was nice to see him the next morning and see how his night went. He did okay. After dropping him off to his house from the end of school he told the staff he wanted to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. This is what the staff sent me and I LOVED the update:
Later that day they sent me this update, too. I love that we live in an area that has a high percentage of Latter Day Saints so Matthew can participate in daily scripture study with his staff and it is pretty normal.
The next day, Friday, they worked on some life skills and sent me this update:
Making a chicken sandwich:
Doing laundry:
Sunday morning we went and picked him up. We then did our Come Follow Me lesson and then we had lunch together. Matthew made sure he got to walk Sophie a few times. Sophie was excited to see Matthew when he walked in the door which made his day!! We then had dinner together and did a family activity. Then we took him back at bedtime that evening. It was nice for all of us to be together again.
The group home likes to meet all their neighbors to let them get to know the residents so they can be familiar with them and watch out for them, too. All three residents with the help of the staff made cookies for all the neighbors. They then went around to introduce themselves and hand out the cookies. Here’s Matthew making some cookies for that activity:
Yesterday we had a crazy windstorm that started in the middle of the night and carried over through the next morning. It was super windy--gusts of wind were measured up to 111 miles per hour. It caused a lot of damage. It was bad enough that a lot of power lines were knocked down so there was mass power outages. The school district ended up cancelling school for the next two days. I was bringing Matthew back to his house after his piano lesson when we heard they were going to go to a late start for school. After I dropped him off the school district decided just to cancel school for the day. Matthew was a bit upset after hearing they were cancelling school. The house manager texted me to see if there was anything he could work on for the day. I said he could work on his cooking skills or household chores to learn daily living skills. The staff was pretty creative and came up with some other fun activities to do as well:
He got to make his whole entire lunch all by himself, too which he was pretty proud of:
He even made his favorite macaroni and cheese last night for dinner:
Although it was so hard to move him out--I still cry about it--he is doing really well and is enjoying himself. He loves choosing what he wants to eat every meal, doing his own laundry, picking out his menu for the week for groceries, etc. He also called me today to let me know that him and his staff are planning riding the Frontrunner down to Provo and back next week. He sounded pretty excited about that. I must say that all in all it definitely was not an easy decision. However, seeing all the things he has accomplished in the past week it makes me look forward to see him grow and progress in his skills and look forward to our times together.
As for home life....this hybrid school schedule has thrown me for a loop. I am glad the kids are able to attend school in person twice a week, but the homeschool part has been a bit tricky. The days they don’t attend in person they have stuff to work on from home. To try and help the kids keep track of all their stuff and so it’s not all piled on the kitchen table we got everyone their own desk. We rednecked engineered them. We bought a super cheap three piece coffee table set, tore off the three tops and then attached legs to tops. I then cleared off the kitchen desk so it could actually be used as a desk instead of a junk catch all area--haha! Here’s what our homeschool set up looks like:
Desks for four so they can keep all their school stuff in their own spaces. It doesn’t always stay in those spaces, but at least there is now a designated spot for it all.
It has definitely been an interesting year so far--that’s for sure!! I can now see who needs to be separated from others and who can work well independently--haha!
The first week of school we were able to go back to in person piano lessons. Their teacher sent out a google sign up sheet so I signed the kids up all on the same day except for Matthew. I thought I signed them up for Wednesday lessons. So Tuesday night I made all the kids get their piano stuff ready since lessons start at 6 am. Josh drove them over to lessons early Wednesday morning. He ended up texting me about how awkward he was feeling. Wha??? He then told me that I actually signed them up for Thursday lessons. DOH!! Thankfully we have an awesome piano teacher who rolled with the punches. She is supposed to work at the temple Wednesday mornings, but seeing as the temple is closed still she was home. She was also awake--which at 6 am is EARLY. She kept the kids and did lessons with them anyway despite it being the wrong day. I was so embarrassed. I texted her apologizing and promised I would get the right day the following week--haha! I worry about myself sometimes--haha! In my defense I had A LOT going on these past few weeks so I am giving myself some grace.
Josh had his senior yearbook pictures taken this past week. However, he might need to do retakes. The night before his picture, he went to a friend’s house that had a cat and a dog. By the time Josh got home that night he was so congested and his eyes were swollen because he is so allergic to dogs and cats. He got home at midnight. The next morning was Senior Sunrise where the seniors meet on the football field at sunrise. They watch the sunrise and set goals for themselves for this upcoming year. Josh went to that, too. So by the time he had scheduled pictures at 9:30 his eyes were still puffy from the night before and quite bloodshot from lack of sleep and also getting soap in his eye from showering that morning. Poor guy. I am hoping for retakes his eyes won’t be swollen or bloodshot---haha!
Josh is enjoying having every other day off from school. He has been loving making gourmet lunches. This week he made Cinnamon Donut Waffles and Red Velvet pancakes with cream cheese syrup. I am glad he enjoys cooking.
Noah is enjoying soccer. They got team pictures last week. Noah was dorking off, but at least he was having fun.
To keep things safe for Covid they really made small teams this year. There are only 6 kids on Noah’s team. It is great because he gets lots of playing time!
Josh and Daniel still continue to participate in Cross Country. They had their first meet two weeks ago. Josh is the Senior Leader and gets to run the warm up exercises.
Josh and Daniel got to run in the same race which was fun to see. Here’s all the boys when they started the race:
Go Daniel!!
Go Josh:
That’s the tall and the short of it after the race--haha!
They did great!
They had another meet last week. It was SO HOT!! They had to run in 96 degree weather and did I mention that it was HOT?!
This time the races were separated into age groups so Daniel and Josh did not run in the same race. Go Daniel:
Daniel was DONE by the end of the race. It was super hot.
Josh:
Daniel ran first so he was able to cheer Josh on:
Glad to be in the shade and done racing for the day!
On the days off from in person school Josh and Daniel do two-a-day workouts. They get up early and do an extra workout that day with the team in the morning and another in the afternoon. Poor Daniel was pretty exhausted that afternoon and came home to fall asleep on the floor. He must have been pretty tired since it definitely was not quiet and he was right in the middle of all the chaos!
Daniel and Sarah are in the same junior high this year. Daniel has been looking out for Sarah which has been nice. Sarah was so nervous the first day of school. Daniel went with her early to help her find all her classes. He even ate lunch with her which was nice. Daniel has also started Jazz band again for this year. We did get the first day mixed up so he missed the first day, but what can you do?! He has to go an hour early to school which he doesn’t love, but he does like being in Jazz band.
Speaking of Josh and Daniel they have both started work at Haunted Maze at Black Island Farms. Josh and Daniel auditioned for parts and both got regular parts which is pretty awesome. Josh still hasn’t seen what his costume will look like, but he is playing a clown again. Daniel is playing a slaughterhouse rat and here’s what his mask will look like:
The maze will have their practice night for friends and family next week. It will be fun to see them playing their parts!
Josh and Daniel also turned in their applications and had interviews for the city Youth Council. They did great and got their acceptance letters this week saying they made it on the youth council for this upcoming year. Wahoo!! They will be doing a lot of service activities and support programs which is such a great experience for them.
Sophie is a bit of a lazy dog. She loves to snuggle and nap while laying next to you. She will fall asleep so deep that you can play with her lips/nose and she won’t even move. What a weirdo!
Talking about Sophie we have had to take over walking her every day. That was always Matthew’s job, but since he isn’t here we have to take care of it. The other day it was Noah’s turn. Aaron and I had to run an errand so we weren’t home. When we got a call from home we got a bit nervous. However, it was just Noah. He had to call and let us know that Sophie chose to poop right in the middle of the road. Noah tried to get her to the side of the road, but once she starts you she doesn’t stop. Noah told us he was pretty nervous that a car was going to drive by and hit them since he was stuck in the middle of the road. Luckily, Sophie finished without incident, and Noah grudgingly picked up the mess and didn’t get run over. He had to call and let us know. He came home and told Sarah about it and when she started laughing he finally saw the humor in the situation and called to tell us about it to give us a laugh, too.
I have started into the busy flu season at my work. We had flu season orientation this past week. We had to do three training videos virtually. Then we went to a 15 minute orientation where I got my flu shot. The clinics start next week and it will be busy, but it will be good for me to stay busy.
Last week I was really struggling with Matthew moving. My good friend Erin had just had a really close friend move, too. So to commiserate we went to lunch together Friday. It was nice to be be with just her and chit chat and to have a listening ear. Erin had even picked up a gift card to help Matthew with this huge transition so he would be excited to go out to eat as soon as he got into his new home. She brought it over the night before Matthew moved out. It was a nice lunch. I am grateful for good friends!!
Sunday while we had Matthew with us we went to see a really cool house by us. The guy that lives here started doing chalk art when everything shut down due to Covid back in March. He loves anything Disney and drew all different Disney characters all over the sidewalk, driveway, house, etc. Since the chalk wasn’t very durable he has since started going over everything with acrylic paint. It was amazing. We chit chatted with him for a bit. He told us he has logged over 1000 hours since March on this whole project. It is pretty amazing and cool to see.
There are so many wildfires burning around us that the sky is super hazy and the sun looks very orange. It’s crazy!
He lives on a corner so he had twice the amount of sidewalk space to work on:
Aaron has been loving his griddle. However, he has been blowing through the propane tanks. When we built the house we did add an outside gas line. Aaron finally got the conversion kit and hooked the griddle up to the outside house gas line. I am nervous to see how much our gas usage will increase--haha!
Sunday we spent the day with Matthew. Monday we drove down to Bridal Veil Falls up Provo Canyon. Aaron and I hadn’t been down there for awhile so it was nice to see it again. The trail used to be along railroad tracks, but they have torn those out and put in a paved trail. It was pretty busy so we had to park a ways away and walk up the trail to the falls.
The trail isn’t well travelled so it is quite rocky. Here’s Sarah climbing up the trail:
It was cool to see this waterfall again. It brought back all kinds of memories!
You can see the red leaves on the cliff face:
On the way back to the parking lot I found and caught Bob who was a baby snake aka Nope Rope or Danger Noodle. It was just a Garter snake so it was harmless. Aaron, Sarah and Daniel were not interested in looking at Bob, but Noah had fun holding him after I caught him.
Bridal Veil Falls were pretty to see, but FREEZING to step in the water. The kids had fun climbing all around the rocks and wading in the small pond.
I then wanted to walk up to a different water fall a ways up the trail. I hiked this particular trail a lot with my own family growing up as well as with different friends through the years. However, I never knew the name of the waterfall I just knew where the turnoff of railroad tracks was to get to the trail. As we walked along the paved trail I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to recognize the turnoff without the railroad tracks there. However, the cement structure that showed me where the turnoff started was still there. Wahoo!
We made it to the other waterfall. It was really pretty and only one other family was there which was awesome since Bridal Veil Falls was overrun with people.
The water was FREEZING!! I bet Noah to stick his head in the water and he took me up on it. Talk about a brain freeze--haha!
Josh hung out at the bottom of the waterfall, but he’s there:
The trail was rocky and steep. I didn’t choose the best footwear to hike in, but they did the job:
Aaron made it to the waterfall, but his ankle was not happy about it. It swelled up along his surgery scar and was pretty sore, but he did make it. Here’s the cement structure from the backside. I am glad I was able to find this cool trail again!!
While we were hiking we were able to see all the fall leaves starting to change color. It was really pretty!
After hiking we drove home and had the Einzinger’s over for dinner and to watch the BYU football game. Aaron was excited to finally see a game. It will be interesting to see how the football schedule will end up with COVID stuff going on. I am glad he got to at least watch one game and they won, too, which was icing on the cake.
Josh and Daniel had an allergist appointment today. With COVID going on their provider would only see them virtually. It makes me a bit irritated that I still have to pay a full specialist copay when we do a virtual visit, but what can you do?! The visit was a bit frustrating because her internet and our internet kept dropping the call. We had to reestablish a connection three times. The last time my phone screen froze and we couldn’t hear her talking. Daniel started pulling dorky faces on the screen just to pass the time until we reestablished a connection. The allergist finally gave up on the face to face visit and just audio called me on my phone. She did end up telling me that she could see us, even though we couldn't see or hear her. She also said she liked Daniel’s dorky face pulling, too. When Daniel heard that he turned all kinds of red. I just laughed. Anyway, she had wanted to wean Josh off his allergy shots, but after she heard what happened after visiting Josh’s friend’s house with the cat and dog and his eyes swelling up and becoming so congested, she decided to wait until spring to try weaning him off his allergy shots. As for Daniel, he hasn’t been doing his regular milk and cashew dosing very religiously so she lectured him about it. I am glad she did, because I would tell him the same thing, but he doesn’t listen to me because I am his mom. Hopefully, she got through to him because I want him to still be able to eat cashews and milk and not have a severe reaction to them. Daniel also has to get some labs done which he was not happy about. I just told him he and Sarah can have a lab party because it is time to get Sarah’s liver labs redrawn, too. What’s better than a lab party, right?! We know how to party--HAHA!
I can't even imagine how hard the decision to move Matthew was. I am sure it will continue to go well & I am so impressed that you guys did what was best for him, even though it was so tough!
ReplyDeleteAlso - I remember those falls! We hike there once in college. I can't remember the name either. But that was so much fun! :)